Odd Moments
by DBasty
Summary: Chapter 1: End of KonohaIwa War: How it really happenedThis is just a series of random humorous ideas.


Yo… this fic just contains random ideas that come to my mind. lolz

Chapter 1: The End of The Iwa War

* * *

_**Hokage Tower**_

"How can I end this war?" the Yondaime Hokage thought to himself.

Konoha and Iwa had been at war for 5 years now, neither side willing to give up despite suffering great losses. Konoha had lost numerous fine shinobi such as Hateke Sukumo, "The White Fang."

"When will this madness end?" he continued to think

Suddenly, Jiraiya came barging in his office

"Jiraiya-sensei, what brings you here? I'd have expected you to be '_researching' _during your free time you perverted bastard."

"Oi… Gaki…. Is that anyway to treat your beloved sensei?"

"And is _THAT _anyway to address the Hokage?"

"Damn ungrateful brat…" Jiraiya quietly mumbled to himself.

"Anyway _sensei_, why are you here. It must have been important for you to skip your '_enlightenment sessions'_" (A.K.A _'research'_ for all the thick headed readers, if you still don't know, you should be ashamed of yourself. lol)

Jiraiya suddenly stiffened and his face grew solemn. "Konoha is in trouble if we don't come up with anything soon, my contacts have sent message that Iwa has rallied all their troops and is marching for the final battle. They estimate Iwa will strike within this week."

"This is bad… they caught us off guard. Jiraiya-sensei, please call all the Jounins for an emergency meeting"

* * *

_**1 Hour Later**_

All the Jounin in the village gathered at the Hokage Tower. Rumors and gossip being passed around on why there was an emergency meeting.

"You should all know by now why I have called you all here. Iwa has sent its army in a surprise attack" Yondaime said, "currently, I have not been able to come up with a plan to defeat Iwa without hundreds of us dieing. That is why I have called this meeting today. Do any of you Jounins have any plans to win this war."

The crowd of Jounins looked at each other, murmuring to themselves on possible plans.

There were quite a few ideas being passed around, some quite good while others were unbelievably idiotic. One such plan surprisingly idiotic plan was actually being contemplated. Some Jounins just started joking around that they could just ban all Icha Icha Paradise books ever reaching Iwa. Thus driving them insane due to the loss of the _unholy bible_ as referred to by the Konoha Anbu and eventually leading to them their self destruction.

* * *

_**Konoha Chuunin Exams 15 years in the future**_

A small contingent of Iwa Jounin were walking around the shops in the city. They eventually came to a stop infront of a bookstore.

"Takeshi, guys… LOOK! Its an Icha Icha Paradise book! I haven't seen one of these in 15 years." Said a random Iwa-jounin

"Damn… who would have thought that this book turned the tide." Replied Takeshi. Turns out, Konoha did put the ban on Iwa, thus leading to the suicide of several high ranking ninja's and the Tsuchikage. Who would have thought that the little orange book was keeping them alive, who knew? In fact hundreds of Iwa were still pissed at Konoha because they forgot to lift the ban.

Takeshi then sweatdropped realizing that he was all alone, all the other Jounin were in the bookstore buying several copies, then started crying realizing he didn't have any money to buy his own copy.

Things started to look up for Takeshi when he saw non other then our second favorite perverted Jounin, Hatake Kakashi. He always wanted revenge for Kakashi killing hundreds of his fellow men in battle, and what better way then stealing his Icha Icha Paradise.

Kakashi always had great instincts. He had to… to have survive the war, and hundreds of assassination attempts for revenge. He did after all, have a giant reputation thanks to that last battle with Iwa. Due to this, he was always able to detect the slightest danger to him. Having a feeling of dread worse for something worse then death, an attempt for his _precious bible_, he let out a stream of killing intent. Enough to make every man near him cover their _'family jewels' _

Takeshi's sweatdropped increased and decided it was safer stealing one of his companion's books. Yes, screw pride and revenge, he'd rather keep his manhood.

* * *

_**Back in the 'Present'**_

Rin eventually stood up.

"Arashi-Sensei, I have a plan."

"Go ahead Rin, tell us your plan and we will take it into consideration, no way it can be even more idiotic then the Icha Icha plan."

"Here is my plan Sensei. As far fetched it may be, it will work. If not, we fight and defeat Iwa. We will meet Iwa at the border. And then …"

_5 minutes later_

"Rin! That's the craziest, stupidest, and the most insane thing I've ever heard. You're a Genius. But how will you get him to agree to it"

"Relax Sensei, I've got it all planned out"

Out of nowhere, a puff of smoke appeared in the room. When the smoke cleared, kakashi was found with hundreds of swords ready to decapitate him.

"Yo! Was I late?" Kakashi asked with a sweat drop. A giant sweatdrop appeared on the back of everyone's head in the room.

"Perfect…" everyone thought to themselves.

* * *

_**2 days later**_

An underpowered, and undermanned Konoha army met at an organized, and well-prepared Iwa army met at the border.

All of a sudden, Iwa let out a battle cry, as thousands of shinobi charged towards Konoha.

"Remember the plan my fellow shinobi, now go! Charge!!!!" bellowed Yondaime

As the two super forces closed in to each other, a puff of smoke appeared in the middle of the battlefield.

Immediately, both forces stopped charging. Each man looking at the man beside him, then looked back at the cloud of smoke wondering what kind of idiot would appear in the center of two armies.

As the smoke settled, Kakashi came out in his blazing glory. Swinging his Anbu blade in his right hand and a full powerd Raikiri in the other. If anyone paid attention, they would have noticed how beautiful his dance of death was, he was killing shinobis from the left and right. Carving right through their ranks like a hot knife through butter

Unfortunately, no one was paying attention. All the Konoha shinobi in the front line had their jaws in the dirt and eyes bulging out of their heads. Kakashi was actually **ON TIME.** That was completely unheard of. Every battle up to date, Kakashi had **ALWAYS** appeared in middle of the battle, that was also around the time the tide of war turned.

While the Konoha shinobi were staring slack jawed, Iwa shinobi were having seizures and/or panic attacks, this screwed up everything, Kakashi was supposed to appear half way in the battle, hence all their strong shinobi were at the front and rear ranks while the kunai fodder were in the middle ranks.

Kakashi arriving on time was like… the apocalypse happening. **IT** should be **IMPOSSIBLE**. Then, sky above turned red. Everyone started to sweat, the **IMPOSSIBLE CAN'T **happen right? Hence the term im- in impossible.

Everyone looked up praying to whatever gods that were watching that the impossible wasn't happening. Three great balls of flames then fell wiping out a couple of Iwa-nin.. Then a shimmering caught everyone's attention in the sky. 4 Riders in chariots started to materialize behind the shimmers.

"Oh My God!!! It's the apocalypse!!! We give up!!" yelled one of the few Iwa shinobi who didn't have heart attacks... I guess having Kakashi arrive on time and the apocalypse appear was too much for most shinobi. This was further proved when several more shinobi dropped dead from both the Konoha and Iwa ranks.

* * *

_**Where ever the gods in Naruto are**_

All the gods were circled around a giant flat screen LCD TV watching everything that was happening with a ungodly sized sweatdrop. Three thoughts were running through everyone's mind

1. Who the hell are those riders? Or are those guys in the corner fakes?

2. Kakashi was on time? That's like winning the lottery one million times in a row. It just wasn't possible.

3. Thank Us, that we aren't down there

* * *

_**Back to the War**_

As the Iwa shinobi said that, Kakashi gained a huge sweatdrop behind his head. "I'm not always that late am I" he muttered.

"Kakashi!!! Your actually here on time! You brought the apocalypse upon us. You've doomed us all" yelled a random Konoha chuunin.

Kakashi's sweatdrop grew even larger, still wondering if he was always that that late. As he looked up into the sky, his sweatdrop grew even bigger. It was only then did he notice the great flaming balls descending from the sky.

To this day, no one still knows whats scarier, kakashi arriving on time or the apocalypse. Most would answer Kakashi if anyone asked. Anyway, back to the story…

A few minutes after the surviving Iwa ninjas surrendered. Kakashi heard Rin

"That's enough guys, cancel the genjutsu" she yelled. And with that, the sky returned to the normal sunny blue.

Kakashi quickly rushed towards the Yondaime and Rin. "What the Hell is going on?"

Yondaime stayed silent, well… silent if you don't count the fact that he was on the floor dying of laughter. Rin, realizing that it was up to her, answered Kakashi

"We won the war, this was all part of the plan you missed. You do know you are known throughout the elemental nation for being late right?"

If it was possible, Kakashi grew an even bigger sweatdrop then before.

"By having you arrive on time, we managed to shock majority of their army. During that confusing, we casted numerous genjutsus to make it appear as of the apocalypse appear. Then had other's use Katon: Gokakyu no jutsu to similate the fireballs raining from sky."

"I have got one question… how did you get Kakashi to arrive here on time?" a curious Yondaime asked Rin.

"Easy, I told him to be here 3 hours early"

Kakashi's sweatdrop grew so big he collapsed on the floor under its pressure.

And that is how the Konoha-Iwa war came to an end. All thanks to Kakashi. It was, and forever will be, the greatest and shortest battle in Konoha and Iwa history. As well as the last day Kakashi would be on time. He forever learnt his lesson that day, 'Never arrive 3 hours later, always arrive 4 hours late.' He thought with a grin.

* * *

**Omake: (lolz… alternate ending)**

A few minutes after the surviving Iwa ninjas surrendered. Kakashi heard Rin yell. And then approached her

"That's enough guys, cancel the genjutsu" she yelled. And with that, the sky remained red. "THAT'S ENOUGH!!! Cancel it already, its not funny anymore"

A Chuunin then appeared infront of Rin, "ma'am we did cancel it, that red sky isn't our genjutsu"

Rin and kakashi looked up and saw a **GIANT HOT FLAMING BALL OF FIRE** approaching them. Fortunately, they managed to jump out of the way. Unfortunately, the chuunin wasn't that lucky and perished quickly.

Suddenly, one of the riders swooped down and killed 20 more shinobi.

Kakashi then looked at Rin and said "I hate you"

In a flash of yellow light, the Yondaime Hokage was infront of them. "Rin… Kakashi… you doomed us all, why did you doom us, why?!!"

Realizing how stupid he was acting, the Yondaime calmed himself… for a few seconds. A thought suddenly passed through his head, 'What the hell, we're all gonna die anyway'

Deciding that this will be his last moments, he decided to tell his remaining living students a few secrets that he's been keeping from them.

"Kakashi, what the hell is wrong with you!? What kind of self respecting shinobi arrives 3 hours late to everything. And what the hell is with you bringing that damn book around with you everywhere… and Rin.. don't even let me get star–"

Before the Yondaime could finish, he suddenly dropped dead as one of the Riders appeared behind him.

Thus, came the ending of Konoha and Iwa, and soon the whole elemental nation.

* * *

Lolz,

So what you guys think? Should I continue? I've got a couple ideas with Itachi and a few other characters at the moment. But not sure whether I should continue or not. So review.

Oh yeah, if you review… tell me what you think is scarier, Kakashi arriving on Time or the apocalypse. Lolz. No saying both cause that's cheating. lolz

Remember people,  
Always give 100 to everything you do,

12 Monday  
23 Tuesday  
40 Wednesday  
20 Thursday  
5 Friday

Ja Ne!


End file.
